Depression is not forever. I am living proof that one can escape depression’s cruel grasp, and if one can, then all can. The medical model will tell you otherwise. It reduces depression down to nothing more than a chemical imbalance. Your neurotransmitters and hormones are out of whack. It’s the way you were born, and you have no other recourse than to take these pills that will narrow the band of your emotional range, produce numerous unwanted side effects, and keep you dependent on a substance to feel some brand of “normal.” This model leaves those with the diagnosis completely disempowered, yet it does not have to be the case. Intuitively, I knew this, so I embarked on a mission to find my own way out of depression.
I began this journey by dropping all the pharmaceuticals that I was taking. I continued to have weekly visits with my psychologist, my talk therapist, so I wasn’t completely reckless in my abandonment of the old paradigm. Fortunately, he did not advise me otherwise or try to keep me in my cage of drug-addled hell. He trusted my autonomy to discover my own path out and he would help guide me to the best of his ability. One of the greatest gifts that he gave me was that he turned me on to a local meet-up channel that had various community activities listed on it. The two that caught my eye and intrigued me were a meditation class and laughter yoga class. I had dabbled with meditation based on a brief description of it that I received as a kid, but I had up until that time received no formal training. As for laughter yoga, I had no idea what that was at all. At the time, I hadn’t even experienced “regular” yoga, so laughter yoga was a complete mystery. Fortunately, within that mystery and the teachings of meditation that I began to steep myself in, I found the first two, of numerous, all natural tools that I would come to discover that helped me find my way out of the depressive state that was so pervasive in my life.
The meditation began to give me control over my mind and my focus. I also began to discover the various archetypal energies that made up my inner world by sitting in silence and observing the various “voices" at the roundtable of my being. With greater control over my mind, I could direct my thoughts and actions towards the directions that were in greatest service to who I wanted to become. With this inward glancing eye, I was able to discover the subtler aspects of my being, like the quiet promptings of my body, the soft voice of my intuition, and urges and desires of my soul itself. I was also able to witness the less healthy thought patterns and behavioral patterns that were keeping me stuck. I began to recognize that the depressive state, at least in part, was being brought upon by the fact that I was playing a role in life that did not satisfy the needs or desires of my deeper aspects of self, such as my soul. I began to heed the call of this soft yet powerful voice, this subtle aspect of my being, and it began to guide me along my healing path.
Laughter yoga felt like a warm glove in the dead of winter. It was new, yet the expression of laughter and joy was so integral to my natural state of being that it came without effort. The goofy childlike playfulness that it evoked was absolutely the medicine that I needed at the time. It evoked a deeper connection with my creativity than I had ever experienced. It also had lasting effects on my emotional and vibrational state. I would only go two times a week, yet I felt the laughter permeate my week at large, not allowing the depression to find a foothold in my being during that time of regular practice. Looking back from the lens of the emotional alchemist that I’ve become, it is no surprise that laughter, and the joy that it stems from, would be a direct transmutational medicine for the despair and emotional numbness of the depressive state.
With these two techniques well in hand, I found myself more and more capable of overcoming the depressive impulse. With that came a greater confidence in myself. I found myself with more energy and greater clarity as to where I would like to head in life. Meditation allowed me to hear my body’s yearning for movement to break up the stagnation that it had begun to feel in the absence of a regular-movement practice. That spurred me to find a form of exercise that would allow me to escape the physical laziness that had seduced me into stillness. Bicycling lent itself to where I was in my physical fitness journey. It was easier than running and more active than walking. As I began to explore this arena, I came to find out that it was the perfect place to get into a meditative state. By focusing on the simple act of riding my bike, it allowed the more active aspects of my conscious mind to quiet and for the subtleness of my unconscious mind to surface and bring with it advice. One of the huge bombs of wisdom that came through one day while riding my bike was that I had been living my life dominated by an unconscious fear that had been crippling my growth. Armed with this revelation, I set out on a physical quest to find myself, my home, and my inspiration. It is here that I will pick up the story next week. Be well my friend.
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